I thought Valentine's Day would be a little depressing for six single gals in the city, but I really didn't anticipate the night ending in a police precinct. It started with a Comedy Show called "Love Sucks" where several comedians shared their worst Valentine's Day tales...I think I have some good material for next year's show.
After a few drinks with all mah single ladies, four of us decided to head back uptown to continue to the drinking/man-hating. We contemplated a cab but since we were already so close to Union Square and we all had monthly subway passes, we decided we'd just catch the 6. As we approached the turn table, I realized thatI had left my monthly subway pass in my other jacket. Not wanting to buy a stupid one-way pass, I convinced my usually straight-edged roommate to double swipe me through.
After about three minutes, a large scary man in an ENYCE sweatshirt asked us to come with him. He flashed a plastic Party City badge that definitely did not convince me he wasn't trying to pull us into a corner to rape us. Confident in my kickboxing skills, I followed him and his equally frightening looking friend down the subway corridor. He pulled JLH and I into a tiny room...I guess the badge wasn't from Party City after all. He told us he had caught us on camera, and would have to write us each tickets for double-swiping. I tried to explain that I was incredibly sorry and have paid for a monthly pass and could bring it back to show him. When that didn't work, I reminded him that it was Valentine's Day and nobody loved us. When even THAT didn't work, I encouraged him to only write me a ticket, as I made JLH do it. Officer ENYCE would have none of it, and handed us each tickets....for $100 each.
Obviously, I am paying for JLH's ticket too. Below please find a list of things I would have preferred to spend $200 on last night.
- 20 Shots of Jameson.
- A dozen roses for all the females in my family.
- A plane ticket to Vegas (Jet Blue, but still a plane ticket).
- 200 Flashbucks at the Strip Club.
- A cab ride home for all four of us...actually a cab rides home for the entire bar.
- Two monthly subway passes.
- Someone to punch Officer Enyce in the face.
- And lastly....A Valentine.
